Time to eat

Make the Christmas Eve Cake

Well let's get going, just because it has been flooding and their are people you are only vaguely related to sleeping on your couch, this is no time to slack off playing Xbox. For those of you on the late schedule you can do this anytime in the next week. Everyone else this weekend is cake time.

You will need:

A butter golden cake mix, you can usually find it from the folks that bring us Moist Deluxe (get three boxes but more on that later). A box of cook and serve vanilla pudding, 4 eggs and a good vegetable oil. If you choose you may also want cranberries (dried), coconut, and nuts of your choice. I usually make one with only cranberry, the next one with cranberries and nuts and the third one with all that and coconut as well.

About the fruit. If you have been following along you should have enough fruit for three cakes. One for you to eat tomorrow, one for you to eat the next day and then one more for snacking. You know. Later. Or you can share them with, people.

Set the old flame box to 300

Prepare a bundt pan by buttering it VERY well and then flour it.

In a big mixing bowl dump the cake mix and the pudding mix. Add the four eggs and the 2/3 cup of oil. Mix that just enough to blend it all together. Mix in any of the nuts, cranberries and or coconut. Use a strainer to drain the syrup off of about a cup and a half of the fruit, GENTLY fold the fruit into the cake batter. Pour all of that into the bundt pan, turning if need be to distribute it around the pan.

Put the cake in the oven, bake for ever, actually it is about 55 to 65 minutes, it will get a tawny golden brown on top and will set. If it is all gooshy mid-way in the ring give it another 5 minutes.

Save the syrup in the freezer, it is great on ice cream and lends a nice fruitiness to next years cake.

Just Say No to Fruitcake

How to turn a Tenderloin into Filet Minon steaks!

Christmas Eve Cake - Last Addition

So since tryptophan didn't make you nappish, and isn't to blame for your couchpotato stance. Get up. Go to the store. Buy the big can or jar of pineapple chunks, in juice if you please. Better grab a bag of sugar while you are there. Tell the cashier that you are making a fruit bomb (its kinda true).

Get out the big jar with the fruit and sugar syrup with the apricots and peaches floating in it. Give the mix a good stir.

Now, add approximately 2 to 3 cups of sugar, the whole thing of pineapple chunks along with the juice. See our artsy photographs.



Stir it all up again and loosely cover and back to the fridge it goes. Now you really need to be stirring this every day. And stop eating all the fruit, its like you are a kid, for Hestia's sake.

Now you have 25 days to get ready to bake the best Christmas cake ever. We will give you a shopping list in about a week for the final preparations.

 

How to order at Chipotle!

This guy nails it! 

"When you walk into Chipotle, don’t look ashamed or frightened. You’re eating some righteous food, so own up to it. Stride purposely to the first stop at the Chipotle station and in a commanding voice say: “I’ll have a burrito with black beans and steak.”....

....if you've impressed the manager so much that he says “That’s a big fuckin’ Burrito” as you’re paying, then not only have you done your job well, but I’d like to go out to lunch with you. It was the proudest day of my life."

Link

Dilbert wears gloves while cutting Jalapenos. Must read LOL.

Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert) on cutting Jalapeno peppers:

"A few minutes passed, and I felt a tingle in my left hand - the one that directly handled the peppers. The tingle turned into a warm sensation, and the warmth turned into...well, this will take some explaining.

Imagine turning a broom upside down, so the pointy bristles are facing up. You take your hand, palm facing down, and bounce it on the pointy bristles. Can you imagine how uncomfortable that feels on your hand? Okay, good.

Now imagine that a giant troll sees you playing with the broom. He snatches it out of your hand, chews the handle into a point and shoves it so far up your ass that you can taste it. Then he uses you like a huge flyswatter to kill a nest of porcupines that are living in his salt mine. My hand hurt like that."

Story here

Study finds sight of meat makes men less aggresive!

Beware the vegetarians!

Source

EGG NOG Time

We noted today that in our local food market and money exchange that the counters in the cold storage have once again been graced by little cartons of Egg Nog. This is always a sign of good cooking, fat duds in red and private moments under the mistletoe. All good things in our book. Well. We really just like to laugh at the dudes in red.

So get out there and buy up the first consignment of winter packaged up in little waxed cardboard boxes. If you happen to see egg nog in a glass jar, buy two. Just don't look at the price. Trust us.

And don't forget the fresh nutmeg.

Melting Chocolate

We are chocolate snobs. Deal with it. What we didn't know was that we could be chocolate MELTING snobs as well. Check this beauty out on page 13 of La Cucina Italiana, the November issue or here at Peyrano's site. Sadly we may have to make do with this 

Vintage Pyrex 

or whichever one of these we can manage to win the auction on. 

Enjoy

Apricot Time! Christmas Eve Cake Step II

Okay all you Christmas Eve Cake Folk. You too Solid Waste Girl. I know people have been asking what that big thing of goo is in the Fridge, just hit them with a wooden spoon and tell them they will thank you later. Okay, take the covered but not sealed container of fruit and syrup out. You will need a can or so of apricots, and a dose of Apricot Nectar, and some sugar.

Open the apricots and cut them into bite size bits, add them to the mix, pour in the nectar.

Pour some sugar on it, about 2-3 cups and stir it all up.  You should have a HEAVY sugar syrup with fruit floating in it at different levels.

Now we are a third of the way, besides you have been at this too long now to give up. And the cake is rockin good.

Enjoy.

Cook a turkey in 45 Minutes!

XKCD is Genius

Shopping for the most expensive possible dinner for two at Whole Foods.

Very cool article on trying to put the most expensive meal for two possible by purchasing everything from Whole Paycheck, I mean Foods market.

But the prettiest sight to see is...well her name is Holly

Yes, Christmas is just around the corner. Only 83 days left to make this cake. So get out that wooden spoon and open up the fruit vat and stir. If you missed the Labor Day start don't feel put off, just get started now on the Christmas Eve Cake, your peach won't tast so much like Candy but it will still be good. Start now and we will catch you up to everyone else on Halloween.

Drink of the week. Rainbow Cocktail. Bring your own unicorn.

Watch video below....


....the intertubes say this is how it's done:

"Take a shaker tin and fill it 3/4 with ice. Add Malibu, Vodka, and Triple Sec first. Tilt the tin and add Grenadine. Then add OJ and Sweet and Sour. Finally topping it off with Blue Curacao. Do not shake. Watch the colors layer as you pour. Use 6 Rocks glasses with 2 ounces each."

Enjoy!

Great Article on Chef Thomas Keller and French Laundry Restaurant

Link: What's it like to work in French Laundry, with Thomas Keller, the only American-born chef awarded multiple three-star (out of three) Michelin ratings simultaneously?

Caffeinated Brownies: Life is Good

Link: We'll be figuring out a recipe for this

100 PAGES!

Thomas and I have finished 100 full pages of our men's comedy cookbook! 72 recipes and pretty funny if we do say so ourselves.  Stand by....

Got Foie?

Cat Crap Coffee.

What more needs to be said.
Cat Crap Coffee. 

More Butter

"I believe it's a cook's moral obligation to add more butter given the chance" 

- Michael Ruhlman

"Bite me, Bambi". The science of spicy chilis pain/pleasures.

Link: A Perk of Our Evolution: Pleasure in Pain of Chilies

Great article on Molecular Gastronomy.

Molecular "Deconstructing food" Gastronomy Link

Drink of the week. Hendrick's Gin

Hindrick's Gin.
Soda Water.
Cucumber Slice.  
Yeah, try it.

Dammit Jim, I am an engineer not a stirrer

Time to stir that Christmas Eve Cake!

Man Meets Stove Rules to Consider

Man Meets Stove Rule 101: if your trying to impress a woman, do not discuss anything involving how asparagus makes your wizz smell. We're just sayin'

#QUOTE

"My dad believed he was a great cook, and he cooked 3 things: fish hash, corned beef hash, and SOS.  His philosophy was "throw it in a pan and make it brown".

-Nicole Feinauer

Christmas Eve Cake Stir Reminder

Okay folks, start your stirring. Pull out that syrup and fruit concoction in the gallon container, and stir it up. Mix with a wooden spoon until the sugar is all back in suspension.


Okay cooking chores done.


Back to Halo!

#Quote

"Forgettable food at a memorable price" - Thomas Jacques

Cutting the Cheese, I mean Tofu.

Learn how to cut tofu swiftly and easily, plus a recipe for you vegans, vegetarians, and yes, you carnivores.  Did you just make a face?  I've got people.  Don't make me send them over there, Capiche?

Military Recipe April 1957 - Shit on a Shingle (SOS)

 Be sure and get your carcass ready.....

TM 10-412-1

DEPARTMENT OF THE ARMY TECHNICAL MANUAL

ARMY RECIPES

(MEAT, POULTRY,
FISH, GRAVIES, SAUCES,
AND DRESSING)
 

DEPARTMENT OF THE ARMY  -  APRIL 1957

NO. A-34 CREAMED GROUND BEEF ON TOAST

            100 Servings
            1 cup each
            Preparation and cooking time: about 11/4 hours

BEEF, CARCASS...................35 POUNDS
Cut in pieces and grind (FINE).

OR
BEEF, BONELESS,
      GROUND (FINE).............24 POUNDS
Brown beef in its own fat in roasting pans on top of range.
Remove excess fat during cooking period.

ONIONS, DRY,
      CHOPPED (FINE).............1 POUND……....…3/4 QUART
SALT………………..………..5 OUNCES…….......1/2 CUP
PEPPER, BLACK……...……1/4 OUNCE….......….1 TABLESPOON
BAY LEAF…………………………………….........1 LEAF
Add onions and seasoning and mix thoroughly.

MILK, EVAPORATED………………………..........2 GALLONS
(WATER FOR MILK)………........…………………2 GALLONS
Add 3 gallons of milk to beef mixture and heat to simmering, stir-
      ring frequently

FLOUR, WHEAT, HARD.…...2 POUNDS……........1 ¾ QUARTS
Mix flour with the remaining gallon of milk and stir into hot mix-
      ture.
Bring to a boil, stirring steadily, reduce heat and simmer until
      thickened.

TOAST…………………………………………........100 SLICES
Serve on toast.

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The BEST Juicer!

We prefer this juicer to that old plastic thing your grandma handed down to you.  In fact we prefer this juicer, period.  Why are you still standing there, go buy one!

Christmas Eve Cake.

Part 1 of a 4 part recipe.

Yes, yes, we know, a Christmas Recipe in September?!!! 

Well if Mega Box Store can have their Christmas crap out for sale now, we can start a wicked good recipe now, right?  We have divided the recipe into pieces and will give them out to you as you deserve them.  If you’re a very good boy, and follow our instructions as they arrive on this blog, you won’t regret the treat your female companion will give you when you have her eat this cake.

You need to start now, and we’ll cue you when the next installment comes, just email us at god@manmeetstove.com or friend us on Twitter us @manmeetsstove

You’ll need to have a little bit of room in your fridge.  This Christmas Eve Cake will roll your socks up and down and maybe up again, so it is worth it.  Take this to the Christmas party, tell her you started it with her party in mind months ago and let the good times roll under the mistletoe.

On Labor day weekend set a small pot on a low burner, add a 2 cups of sugar and one cup of your choice of the following:

Peach nectar
Apricot nectar
Mango Nectar

You can get them in a box or bottle from any grocery store.  Actual nectar is better.
Heat stirring occasionally until sugar is dissolved (it will be clear and no sugar crystals in a spoonful). Simmer covered 5 minutes.

Pour the syrup into a gallon container, add to it three ripe peaches (Farmers Market preferred) sliced to about bite size, add a cup of peach nectar, and another 2 1/2  cups of sugar.  Stir that around until all the sugar gets wet. Cover loosely and set in the back of the fridge. Every week stir it up with a wooden spoon.  Don’t forget to stir!

Your next update will be on Halloween.  Bwoooohahahaha!